fandom.

yesterday as we strolled down the streets of hogsmede and diagon alley, I caught myself in an odd state of euphoria that I definitely hadn't seen since touring Rome. Could Harry Potter World perhaps be my happy place? Yes. An escape to Hogwarts was easily the only thing needed to get me out of the weird limbo funk that I've been sitting in for the past month and a half....

As I tried on a ravenclaw robe and envisioned myself as a witch, I ended up being stuck somewhere in between being nerdy enough to want one and nerdy enough to buy one. #chochang4ever

scarf.

occasions when one needs to wear a scarf include:

-accessorizing an outfit

-it's fetching cold outside

or

-you have a hickey.....

Tonight I'm grateful for my roommate, Princess Elsa for aiding me in my desperate attempts to get rid of my vampire bite.

so far we've tried ice, peppermint oil, and scraping it with a coin....results will be recorded in the morning. 

let me just say that it is not smart to receive a hickey 12 hours before church. It is even less smart to receive a hickey from a boy other than the one that you are in love with/best friends/semi-involved with.

POOR LIFE CHOICES.

Also, if I can't get it to go away by the time I see my mother OR my bishop Tuesday night, all hell might break loose. 

I really did just wanted to watch the movie....

called.

After two weeks of semi-keeping the biggest secret of my entire life, my mission call finally came! I've been called to serve in the ARGENTINA POSADAS MISSION!!!!!!! I couldn't be more excited to serve the people of ARGENTINA and preach the gospel in the Spanish language. I have so much love and faith in this gospel. I know that this is the true church, and that my heart is in the right place. I love my father in heaven so much, and am so grateful that I have the opportunity to serve the Lord for 18 months!!!!! I leave for the Provo MTC on February 25th, and it couldn't come sooner!

changes.

With the fall season in full-swing, more than just the leaves are changing.  I am now two weeks into retirement from my gymnastics career, which is it's own kind of bizarre.  More time for homework, sleeping, and socializing…but mostly more time for Grey's Anatomy.

MY MISSION PAPERS WERE SENT TO CHURCH HEADQUARTERS ON MONDAY!!!!! So…now it's just a matter of surviving the wait.  It has been approximately 72 hours and supposedly there's about 240 hours more to go. . .

I'm in love with my best friend, who doesn't love me back.  It's casual.  That might be slightly dramatic, but not really; my life could be a romantic comedy, it's fine.

I recently have become super domestic and make baked goods on the daily; banana bread goddess.

I have only worn leggings to school ONCE this year, which is definitely a nice change from the 5-day a week policy that I exercised last year.  Woohoo prepster for life.

Sin, Elliott, and Cam are my best frans

round 2.

After being back in P-town for a month now, there are just a few things to cover…

School is just as hard as last year, but harder because I'm actually taking classes that make me want to ram my head into a wall; Chem 105 and PDbio 120.  The unfortunate thing about Chemistry is that it is well known for being a "weeder", yet I can't be weeded because I kind of need Chemistry to go to Med school.

Being anything but 18 and a freshman is a beautiful thing.  You no longer have to cringe when attractive (clearly older) boys ask you where you live, when you shamefully have to mutter, "Helamen Halls".  Also, 21-year-olds aren't scary for the reasons they were last year.  They aren't scary because they're older than you, they're scary because they've just gotten home from they're missions and are kind of bizarre.   Not being 'baby cougs' is nice because you naturally roam campus with more confidence as you have a better familiarity of where things are, ex. the entrance to the library.

The Village is fine.  It is clean and all of my roommates are normal (so far).  It definitely lives up to the majority of its stereotypes, good and bad, and that is all I will say on that.  I'm very grateful to be out of the dorms for countless reasons, but the biggest adjustment is feeding myself.  Besides the fact that my range of culinary skills is very limited, the other key factor in making food is having the motivation to do so; which I often lack.  So that's fun.

In the course of 1 month I managed to get back together with Saran Wrap, get my first hickey, attract an artsy hipster, and fall for my chem tutor.

To give justice to the madness, let's elaborate…

Taking a step back, on Memorial Day I had made plans to hike the Y with Saran Wrap, because we were back on speaking terms and he was the only non-freshman boy that I knew of that had yet to hike the Y.  Literally 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave, Instagram filled me in on a little something: The squirrel, who hadn't said a word to me since 4th of July weekend, posted a picture of his best friend; his missionary that he's been waiting for, AND that waited for him while he was on his mish.  So basically they're in love, and he definitely was not in love with me.  Cool.  So I go with Saran Wrap, completely livid, and end up making out with him at the top of the Y (once we made it, because of course we took an hour long incidental detour).  Those moments of vulnerability led to another two weeks of hanging out and slowly beginning "couply" habits again. bad.  Too make a long story short, we got rid of that boy, for the better; Mom said she would not be happy if I brought that puppy home with me again.

Chemistry 105 is life.  I befriended a fellow athlete in my class, that I began spending loads of quality study time with.  In my defense I genuinely thought that we were just friends, so when we were joking around about how neither one of us had had a good make out for a while, and that it would be an excellent post-test stress reliever, I thought that was acceptable conversation. mistake.  So that ended up happening, and I was branded with a lovely hickey, that while in a hidden spot, remained for a solid 10 days. shame.

The next one, we shall call him John Mayer.  He sings, he's got the hair, and the baggy John Mayer pants (I'm pretty sure that's a thing).  Anyways, the name works.  The first time we hung out, we went to the park, talked, and then made out on an air mattress for a significant amount of time. great kisser.  I didn't really take any of it seriously just because we did lots of 'hanging out', which I was okay with because of my infatuation with my tutor (that story just below).  Although, as of now I'm pretty sure he has actually managed to develop real feelings for me, so there's that.

Lastly, the source of my current heartbreak.  If I had been one of those girls that has a checklist of her dream man, tutor would have passed with flying colors.  It was everything about him.  I almost felt like I needed to make a checklist for him so that I could check everything off.  What began as an inside joke and definite infatuation, slowly (but not actually that slowly) snowballed into actual feelings.  We went from an hour session in the SAB, to late hours at the library, to studying together on the weekends, to midnight In-n-Out runs, to back scratches, to cuddling and watching Lord of the Rings.  Line crossed.  The original plan was to secretly pine after him for the three months of chemistry, let him realize there was chemistry between us (lolol), and let him date me next semester.  Welp, all of that went out the window when we were being all domestic and making brownies together.  I told him that he couldn't be my tutor anymore because he had definitely become more than a tutor.  He admitted that we had been on the same page for a while, but that because he had just gotten out of a relationship that we had to take things slow. kay.  Tuesday (fresh wound) he came over to study, one thing led to another and we ended up having a game changing conversation.  It was one of those where you just keep talking and talking and you don't get anywhere.  Too many things were said.  Thursday I woke up and I could feel it.  I could feel that it was bad.  Lack of conversation and not seeing him turned me into all of the things that make being a girl absolutely terrible; needy, paranoid, emotional, blehhh.  Friday morning we planned on meeting up so that we could talk.  I knew what was going to happen the minute I saw him.  Thankfully for me (being the dork/perfectionist that I am) I had prepared outlined notes for what I wanted to say, which was the only thing that kept me from crying.  I was so calm and collected, I actually deserved an award.  After I was done, he just sat there and said, "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship". "It's really not you".  Bull.

At least I have amazing friends who will take me to get 'pity-me froyo'.

Don't trust blondes. The end.

Now I need a new tutor.

and its only the first month of school….

worse.

a little compilation of "it could be worse" situations, because frankly it always could be...

the only thing worse than having no place to live, is having two places to live, when you only want one place to live
the only thing worse than not having the 'last word', is not having any 'words'
the only thing worse than eating leftovers, is someone eating your leftovers
the only thing worse than running out of underwear, is finding out your roommate stole your last clean pair. um ew. ehm hygiene. okey grosss
the only thing worse than an infinitely far parking spot, would be forgetting where you parked
the only thing worse than baby pictures, are NAKED baby pictures
the  only thing worse than a relationship via text, is one via snap chat
the only thing worse than one broken leg, is two broken legs
the only thing worse than being bored, is being bored and alone
the only thing worse than holding someone's barf bag, is being someone's barf bag
the only thing worse than minimum wage, is no wage
the only thing worse than stepping in dog poop, stepping in it barefoot

the only thing worse than getting a hickey, is getting it the night before church.

it happens...

up.

As I was literally sprinting/power walking up to my car...all I could think was, "oh. good. lord. *lots of panting and heavy breathing*  I wish I had the UP band right now I am burning so many calories!" anyways I got to Best Buy at 9:01....

Luckily with the help of my sweating face and frantic feminist charms, I was able to persuade them to let me inside

"OH PLEASE LET ME BUY SOMETHING"

"Ma'am I'm sorry but we're closed."

"I HAVE TO BUY IT TONIGHT!!!"

"Do you know exactly what you want?"

"Jawbone. Up band. 24. Navy blue, two of them....you know I'm about to spend $300 dollars, you should really let me in..."

...success

(If you don't have one of these you should really check it out, get one, and then you can join my team of good health and of course, AWESOMENESS)

------------------------

After messing around all night packing, watching the usual I Love Lucy reruns, and of course playing with my new toy, I wanted to try out the 'nap' setting on the UP.  I set it for 30 min and for it to start gently waking me up when there was 10 minutes left (because supposedly it was smart enough for that)...2h 32m later...

"EMILY CANNON GET UP!!!!!!"

It was time to leave for the airport.

I don't know why I was so surprised...it takes close to a cold bucket of water to arise me and to count on a little bracelet, that lightly vibrates, to wake me up was extremely foolish on my part.

pops.

and this is why I adore my father...

He is definitely one of a kind. Stay out of this world Dadio.

moonlight.

Because sometimes I'm the most beautiful girl (in the room)

"you're so beautiful, you could be a part...time...model"

had the opportunity to work with NJ this past weekend on a photoshoot for some head shots, because oh yeah my dad is super obsessed with modeling.

haha it was actually pretty fun, but always so much makeup, like really no, that's not my face. does my face not look good normal? because it doesn't look good like that either...so why am I modeling???

--------

part 2: I woke up this morning to find multiple comments on a photo that I've been tagged in on FaceBook.  So I go and check to find that it is one of N***'s edited photos, that's one of the more unflattering pictures, and that my makeup looks so heavy that I should be on a Broadway stage...also, my arm looked just as big or as bigger than the size of my calf *not an exaggeration.

I took the opportunity to look through most of the pictures and SERIOUSLY she picked the absolute worst ones...and they were posted all over social media for people to judge and gawk at...

here are some of the pictures from the shoot that are most or less awesome/not embarrassing/mediocre looking :D

pulpit.

The only thing more nerve wracking than having to speak during sacrament meeting, is being late to the meeting, speaking in front of complete strangers, and having there be 600 people instead of the 30 that you expected...

Yesterday mom and I spoke at the visitors ward.  We gave the same talks that we did the previous week, which I was grateful for because 1. I spent 10 minutes preparing for yesterday and 2. Because I had already "preformed" it once, I didn't cry this time. score!

After the meeting was over people just kept coming up to us and saying thank you for our messages, and it really was so gratifying.  It was so heartwarming and this is probably a little prideful, but it showed me that hey, we actually did pretty good because complete strangers are telling us that we did good.

And that is the problem with your friends and family sometimes; the habitual obligation that you feel towards people that you care about.
Whether it's the new gawd-awful haircut, hideous prom dress, or cookies that taste like pickle juice, the criticism that you can truly count on is that of complete strangers.  They owe you nothing and will most likely feel no remorse if they are forced to critic you strongly.  Unless you have my mother, where you can 10times/10 count on her true opinion.

Also, rainy days are the best

superstitions.

they all hold validity if they:

1. prove to be right

2. or on a case by case evaluation, you want them to be right

For instance...the "he loves me he loves me not" game. I played, "he loves me", so obviously he loves me. Ta Da. 

lessons.

• never turn down a blind date.

1. it could actually work out

2. it's a good opportunity to practice your social skills

3. if it's awful there will probably be a good story or at least a new candidate for the worst date ever. 

• pray the most when you think you need it the least

• discover what kind of worker you are. if you don't preform well under pressure and don't produce a good product through procrastination, waiting to write a paper 4 hours before it's due is very stupid

• do not judge unless you're perfect, therefore, don't judge because you're not perfect 

• don't leave chocolate in the sun. DUH

• never have important conversations when you're tired, hungry, or on your period...or all three; you're just setting yourself up for a good time. 

• realize when people are being sarcastic, and when they are not. 

• don't be mean, unless they deserve it, and even then watch yourself.

• it's better to suck it up and catch your dog's vomit then to be a pansy and let it go all over your bed. it's easier to wash your hand than your bedspread. 

• get the most painful jobs done first

• you will only get lost in the shuffle if you allow yourself to. 

• always check the weather forecast. 

• the best way to deal with your secrets is to tell them to your dog. 

• daytime tv is 9 times/10 a waste of electricity unless the Harry Potter marathon is on. 

sporty-spice.

Watching the MBA draft for the first time, and surprisingly enjoying myself. After a somewhat long explanation I actually understand and am grateful for this new wealth of knowledge. I've decided that I dislike being completely clueless during sporting events so that is now a new goal of mine: to be more versed in the sports universe...

* sidenote of the top 5 draft picks, 4 of them are 19!  As I received my first paycheck (EVER!!!) today it is crazy to think about having a professional career after one year of college.  That just by signing a contract with a team, they will be rolling in more money than I will make in my entire life.  But that's okay because I'm. . . .yeah I got nothing

intermountain.

clouds over grass,

smoke over fire,

chocolate goes to the heart...

(telemetry, set up)

Thank you for inspiring me to have big dreams, I miss you everyday Poppie

this is just one of the many things that I've learned in my 40 hours of training at the hospital.  So far the job has been good and enjoyable, but I think that can mainly be attributed to the fact that no one has thrown up on me and I've not had a patient that has had explosivediarrhea....once that happens I will definitely be hating life just a bit. The worst thing that I've had to do so far has probably been testing a stool sample.  I'm not going to explain it because I don't really want to think about it...

yesterday, I found out that I will in fact have to take the competency test again. Good thing I'm very used to studying in the summers and that this test isn't quite up to par with the EMT test, but it is still quite annoying that I have to do it when I've already started working...

I'm thinking that once I get thrown up on I will no longer live in fear of the day I get thrown up on. I think it's like doing a new skill; you (well at least I do) anticipate the day when you crash for the first time, and until that day, you kind of live in fear...sort of a pathetic way of living, but it is what it is.

now for some good ol' clinical orientation to bore me out of my mind for the next 8 hours. holla!

listen.

"We have two ears and one mouth so that we may listen twice as much as we speak" - Epictetus

Lately I have had the pleasure of participating in multiple deep, serious, and extremely lengthy conversations with **** (I'm actually gagging) that have had the same. exact. topic.  Mom was able to help me realize that because the conversation was never going anywhere or making progress neither of us was listening to the other.  So I agreed to attempt this and tried to just sit back and listen, no interrupt  not say anything.  But then he kept getting annoyed that I wasn't saying anything so that only half-worked.  For the most part, I would say that last night **** and I were able to clear most of our confusion and disagreements up, but according to our track record for the past few weeks it will only be a matter of time.

If I hear the word, "So....." I know to run for cover...

RM.

Over the course of my first year at BYU I was able to spend some time observing and interacting with this strange breed of male known as the RM.  They appear to be the most spiritual beings walking the earth (apart from the apostles) because they have just spent the last two years doing nothing besides what the Lord wants them to do (well, the good ones).  They have not interacted with female "options" in over two years and are therefor: socially awkward, extremely horny, and over eager in finding out if you are in-fact their ETERNAL COMPANIONNNNN.  The post-mish side effects must eventually wear off somewhat, because of the large amount of bachelors that still roam the streets, but when does that take place, and where can the more normal of men be located?

bookworm.

With no summer school or online classes to worry about, I can finally find time to cuddle up with my Georgie, a blanket, and a good book...

One to check off the list (up to date):

• Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie
• The Fault in Our Stars, John Greene
• City of Heavenly Fire, Cassandra Clare
• Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare

And there will be many more to follow :)

atychiphobia.

Atychiphobia is the abnormal, unwarranted, and persistent fear of failure.  From one aspect, by remaining guarded and constantly hiding behind your protective walls there is a much higher success rate of a low tear flow.  But what is the point of holding back?  If I could go back and erase relationships, mistakes, and unfortunate happenings would I do it? I hope not.  I hope that I can learn to face all of my trials and heartbreaks with open arms and use them to prepare myself for better.  Franklin Roosevelt said, "the only thing to fear is fear itself".  I hope that I will take chances and not fear failure.  Mom once told me that everyone has a story, and that your sole mission when interacting with other people (especially those you loathe) is to figure out what that is; figure out what makes them who they are and try your best to understand that.  In bigger relationships there is so much more than just the final destination, of whether you do or do not end up with that person, to consider.  To all of the people that feel like they've wasted months or even years pining after a hopeless cause, it did mean something.  For me it has meant that I'm capable of loving someone no matter what the odds are.  Through the failures I've found qualities that are important to me and that I want to have in my future someone.  If I could give myself any advice it would be to not be afraid of love, not to be afraid of getting attached to someone you know it's not going to work out with, or someone that is broken, not to be afraid of falling so hard that all you can do is pray that there aren't too many pieces to pick up after the madness settles.  And through all of the madness, risk taking, and roller coasters, eventually the clouds will clear, and I'll find him.  Until then, all I can ask of myself is enjoy all of it, because you can't take any of it back.  Lastly, shout out to the boys that are too scared to get broken: stop acting like a girl and grow a pair. Lots of Love.

winning.

Today is the first in a long time that I'm happy and proud of myself for the things that I've been able to accomplish based solely on my own hard work.  After a mentally draining month of cramming EMT information down my throat, I finally passed the dreaded written exam.  To top that off, I found out that I got the job at the hospital that I wanted.  Never have I ever felt so independent, strong, and ready to face my goals.  I am fully aware that I won't reap the true benefits of independence until I'm married, financially stable, and no longer freeloading off my parents, but I can stand to wait for that day.  Today has felt like one small step for me into a summer that I hope to remember and happily look back on.  Looking forward to my celebratory Cold Stone outing tonight and endless binging of my trashy MTV guilty pleasure.  
Also, this one kid left me a blue orchid and bag of snickers on my car this morning; it was quite awe worthy.

languages.

I just took the love languages test, because it  has been a topic that has been circulating for a little while now among my friends, and these were my results:

I don't think that it matters as much if your significant other has the same love language that you do, but that you need to be willing to reinforce the necessities that come with each language.  You need to care enough to make that individual secure in the relationship.  And if you don't, then it is probably time to move on...I should probably take my own advice on that one.

snapchat.

This is what it has come to: 10 seconds or less of interaction through a picture, or a video if you wanna get real crazy...

While slightly justifiable between the best of friends who probably should see less of each other, this necessary evil is not nor will ever be an acceptable form of communication between two prospectively dating individuals (idk if that made sense). The amount of time spent taking an acceptable selfie alone should make people hate this demonic breed of social media.  There are times where I can't help but cherish my snap chat, but the negative feelings that I have absolutely overshadow any superficial pleasure.

also...it is NOT fun to accidentally receive another girls snap chat from your supposed male friend; thank you for making hating you that much easier.

other non-biased reasons to hate on snap chat:

• 32 characters or less
• running out of unique facial expressions
• not being able to use the majority of my facial expressions when communicating with a male friend
• ^^^ one only has so many attractive angles...
• it drains your battery, which then stops you from doing all of the other meaningless things that we participate in through the inter web 

sorry, slightly cynical.  Sadly, no matter how much the app detests me, I can't get myself to keep it deleted. SNAP you later!

interrogation.

I've never been a fan of first dates, but this one was actually going exceptionally well.  The conversation was good and dinner was delicious (since I picked the restaurant, whoop).  At about nine we headed up to this trail that his buddy had told him about.  After driving a little ways, we parked and hiked the rest, thankfully not too strenuous a climb for having a full stomach.  It was a surprisingly warm night as we comfortably laid out on blankets and cuddled (my favorite activity).  We talked about everything.  For the first time in a long time I felt like an open book; he was ready with questions and I wasn't afraid to answer them.  Whether it was because I was comfortable and trusting or just emotionally somewhere else because of my "squirrel", it was easy, and refreshing.

BROWNIE POINTS: after attempting to kiss me I informed him of my policy.  He asked when he could take me out again, and I said, "whenever you call me".  Then he pulled out his phone and said, "hey, I think someone is calling you"...well done.

Around one, I checked my phone to find texts from the "squirrel", but more importantly from a slightly anxious Mother Duck. We packed up and walked back down the hill, where we found that something was missing.  The car.

A tired/grumpy buddy was kind enough to come rescue us and drove us to the tow company.  We were then informed that we couldn't get the car back until we talked to the police.  

Once we got there we were sent to an interrogation room where we were informed that 1. we had been trespassing on private property and 2. someone had cut the wire fence, laced it back together, and could be held responsible for the well-being of 50K dollars worth of rams.  That was not us... After talking to the officer, he said that he believed us and told us that we shouldn't be too worried about our situation.  I'm pretty sure that can be attributed to the pallor and terrified expression that I wore during the entire debriefing.

240 dollars later we had his car back, and were heading home when he turned to me and said, "well, I think that's the most expensive first date I've ever been on" ha ha.  If I thought that that part of the evening was heinous, it was nothing compared to the interrogation that I received from the mother.  
Bottom-line: 4am is not a good time to be coming home.

fresh.

looking back on freshman year, it's so easy to think about all of the negatives like:

1. the lack of freshman boys
2. redshirting
3. my not so hot grade point average

but...there were 100X the amount of hilarious, adventurous, and truly memorable moments that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Some wisdom that I gained from my first year:

1. meal plans are of the devil
2. the testing center is where dreams go to die
3. Tinder is the quickest way to meet creepy people #NCMO
4. fun occurs after midnight, crazy occurs after 3
5. people skip class
6. you will become friends with people you never thought you would, and don't understand how you did
7. college is your chance to reinvent yourself, but that never happens because…you are who you are
8. people think being a student athlete is cool
9. boys continue to prove to be juvenile whether they are 12 or 21
10. Netflix is the equivalent to any addictive substance
11. 5 hour energy is heaven sent
12. college is much better than high school

singles.

It didn't take longer than an hour of being at church for multiple people to make sure that I was going to be attending the singles ward.  It's a strange environment filled with three different kinds of people:

• the "home for the summer"
• the "still living at home"
• the "desperate for love"

it's extremely evident that the majority of the population attends merely for the social aspect.  I cannot say that I deviated from that stereotype whatsoever.

nursery.

As my first Sunday back at my home ward, I was immediately ushered towards the nursery because of their lack of teachers for the day.  Lucky for me there were only four little ones to watch after; Kate, Chloe, Piper, and Patton.  Chloe was definitely my favorite.  As soon as she came in with her mom she gave me a big smile and a hug that barely reached my knees, but melted my heart.  They are so precious and it was so much fun coloring, playing, and singing with them.  The side effect of this kind of caregiving is having feelings of...baby hunger.  Enough said.

t-meetings.

There are 4 different kinds of testimony meetings:

• first, is the one where there is a living creature inside you either causing a ruckus in your stomach, making your heart rate increase to the speed if sound, or other side effects of the Spirit telling you that the time has come again for you to bear your testimony.
• second, is the one where your fast is more about hunger than humility leaving you too hungry to even care what is going on and thereby are ultra sensitive to the baby crying or the unfortunate person with the seasonal allergies.
• third, is the one where you go in and out of paying attention and then...an individual that for whatever reason, makes you hold your breath and cringe slightly as you sit uncomfortably through their over emotional, over personal, occasionally sacrilegious ten minute monologue.
• fourth, is the one that leaves you truly touched by the spirit. Somehow you've lucked out and there are good stories, jokes, anything that keeps you continuously engaged.  These are the occasions that remind you of how amazing the gospel is.

doughy.

Currently I am sitting in the locker room recuperating from the not so hard workout that proved to be extremely arduous. Not only did I barely last 40 minutes, but retreated to a yoga mat where I found solace in the recumbent position for at least 10 minutes. No amount of pump up songs could keep me moving today. Better luck on Monday, as I will hit the gym again and attempt to begin melting off the fat that has accumulated since the beginning of fall semester.

Also...
1. it is NOT okay to call people fat unless they are twig skinny
2. it is NOT okay to express your desire to lose weight unless you actually have to lose a significant amount of weight and/or are with people who are skinnier than you.
3. it is a daily struggle explaining to people why I currently have no muscle..."aren't you a gymnast"...yes, but I did JUST HAVE SURGERY...yeah, that still seems to confuse some dimwitted individuals.
4. Your parents may comment that you should probably be a "little more" (way more) careful about what you eat, but they still feel the need to buy powdered donuts and make lemon meringue pie. Real swell.

home.

Not too stir crazy yet...

Welcome to my "home" which doesn't really feel like my home anymore, but my mother's home. But I know that every time I say that, she dies a little bit inside. 

Queen Georgie 

(commonly mistaken for a boy...NOT A BOY!)

Sofia.  

The only pet, besides my stuffed animals that I am suitable enough to be completely responsible for.  That realization came a few days ago when I accidentally dropped Markie's beta fish, Wesley, down the garbage disposal. Traumatizing. 

Pile of crap. 

Lastly, here is the remainder of my (still packed) belongings that I've been refusing to acknowledge still exists. Actually having slight withdrawals for my jail cell sized dorm, estrogen loaded hallway, and the communal showers.  Basically all if it, besides the shower shoes. I loathed the shower shoes.   

hi.

May 2nd.  I wish I would've started this yesterday.  New month, new me.  Just a good example of how behind in the times I tend to be.  I am not inner circle enough to be in the know, and now that we're out of school for the summer, I cannot even rely on my peeps of the inner circle to keep me in the know.  Therefore, I am on my own because of my lack of desire to integrate to the inner circle by way of social media.  Because, let's face it, these days that is the only way to get there.

 

this is my "how do you do this" face.  Welcome.